Being Single is Fun
While being in a relationship can have its own charms, most people
agree that being single is the best romantic situation possible.
So for all you dumped and weeping souls, Mensxp.com brings you a list of reasons why
being single is a good thing.
1. Thy Will Be Done!
One look at those poor blokes in a relationship is enough to bring to
mind the evils of slavery. A relationship is nothing but bondage, and
not even the sexy kind. You constantly need to seek approval from your
spouse or girlfriend for everything under the sun, from what tie you
should be wearing to what food you should be eating. One can cite
examples of some wretched souls who cannot even urinate without seeking
permission first. Is that a kind of life you want for yourself? Being
single means that you are the master of all you survey, the sole captain
of your ship. You can blissfully roll out of bed in the late afternoon,
without having to endure a nagging partner belting angry sopranos about
your irresponsibility. No one will ever tell you to tuck your shirt in
if you don’t want to. Nobody shall wish to correct you if you wish to
fling your towel on the bed, and leave it there. You will be the God of
your own space. Sweet, isn’t it?
2. No Awkward ‘We-Need-To-Talk’ Moments
While men around the world claim to be fearless in every respect, when
it comes to talking about ‘where this relationship is going’ they all
end up cowering in desolate corners, praying for their dear lives. What
can one say? If this truly was a patriarchal society, then the dear
patriarchs would have abolished this evaluation altogether. This
situation is awkward in innumerable ways. Women borderline emotional
wrecks and a single wrong gesture can have them emptying their tear
glands for dear life. Let’s face it, men are averse to emotions. Neither
do they indulge in crying nor can they handle criers well. Being single
means never having to deal with situations like these. The only time
you get to tear up is when you laugh really hard.
3. Gawk at Anyone
Women do not understand the beauty of being endowed with sight. Having
sight means having the ability to stare at anything under the sun like
the hills, the vales, the rippling rivers, a beautiful day and even the
sensuous feminine contours along the back of an attractive lady. Staring
isn’t a crime. It is simple, satisfying and far from illegal. It is
just one of the few perks that a guy gets to enjoy and thanks to our
‘loving’ partners, even this is rendered undoable. What is left to enjoy
if men cannot visually feast on feminine beauty? Being single means
having no one to shoot dirty looks at you for letting your eyes roam
astray, leaving you to feel as happy as a hungry bunny in a field full
of carrots.
4. Rampant Bed Space
Woe to the girlfriend who sleeps on the pretence of kicking her
morbidly tired partner all night! Women have the most annoying habit of
controlling everything in sight. They will tell you how to stand, how to
move and even how to sleep! Some are paranoid enough to demarcate bed
space clearly. One can regale the male population with fearful
predicaments of the men who dared to bypass the meticulously set
borders, but why scare you any further? Being single means that you can
occupy all the bed space and sleep in peace, without having to play
tug-of-war for the blanket. You can sleep with your legs on the
headboard, or even roll off the edges and never have anyone to complain
about it.
5. Saving Money
The biggest hassle of being in a relationship is having no control over
your cash outflow. God save your soul and pocket if you have a
high-maintenance partner!
She’ll max out your credit card for insignificant things like her dog’s
manicure, eyelash lengthening and buying the entire department store in
a single visit. Not to be sexist, but the only task women perform with
perfection is spending money! Men in relationships have had their
pockets screeching in agony over the amounts of money spent in pampering
their girlfriends. What can one do? Women proverbially hold us by the
balls, crushing any hopes of freedom whatsoever. Either you lose money
when you give in to her desires or you still lose your sanity if you
don’t. Being single, on the other hand, reunites you with your full
budget, leaving you to sing happy crooning lullabies of togetherness.
With no money to lose, you can store it for future emergencies or use it
for your own good.
6. Spend Time with Your Friends
To the girlfriend, a ‘boy’s night-out’ is always an out-of-bounds
forage into infidelity. While she flutters her eye lashes in utter
approval of her friends, no matter how skanky they might be, she’ll
always hold her partner’s friends in contempt for reasons that transcend
all sense. For every commonplace anomaly she will blame his friends as
if they were a gang of criminals roaming around scot-free. From a leaky
pipe to split ends, it seems that everything under the sun has his
friends to blame. She will throw surreptitious glances when they come
home to watch the game or lurk around in shady corners to catch them
leading her boyfriend to infidelity. Being single means getting rid of
this psychotic woman and spending some quality time with your friends.
Now you can do your heart’s desire, without having to worry about a
moody girlfriend waiting to pounce on you at home.
Singlehood has
perks
fantastic enough to make even the most committed of men reconsider
their decisions. Here’s hope that the above-mentioned points drive some
sense into men and let them make proper choices in life.
